Ask Jessica

Question:

My son  – 10 –  is a picky eater.  He will eat….

Any advice gratefully received

Answer:

• We became this way at a very young age…in infancy or before 2 or 3 years old
• We would rather starve than try a bite of something we find offensive
• We are almost all super-tasters (doctors can do a simple test to determine if someone is a super-taster, and a google search will give a couple of at home tests that can be performed). Supertasters have been proven to be excessively sensitive to a substance in vegetables that makes them taste bitter…extremely so to most supertasters (like myself)
• Many foods that others perceive normally, we often don’t see as being food (example, some view a plate of spaghetti as look like a plate of worms, or peppercorn bacon as bacon that has been sprinkled with dirt, or a salad as a bowl of tree leaves).  Since our brain doesn’t process the item as food, we have a strong repulsion to the idea of eating that food, just like most “normal” people would have an aversion to eating sticks, grass, and other non-food substances
• We often have an extreme sensitivity to textures and often shut out a food we normally like if the texture is different (i.e. someone won’t eat mashed potatoes [mushy] even though they will eat potato chips [crunchy]) Pickyness lasts beyond a few years. Most toddlers go through a picky stage, which they will eventually grow out of.
• Diets are extremely limited, beyond the normal picky kid phase. For instance, they might only eat one brand of bread or peanut butter, and will be able to tell the difference if you try to trick them
• Often have extremely sensitive gag reflexes, and will gag if forced to try a food that he/she does not like

This is just a sample of things that usually define most of us…especially when we were children.  Below I will give a few suggestions:

Some of us have a disorder called Sensory Integration dysfunction.  You can also do a Google search on this to find out a bit more information, but to give you a basic summary, people with this can either be hyper or hypo-sensitive.  Most of us are hyper-sensitive if we have the dysfunction.  The basic definition is that your senses work correctly, but your brain processes them incorrectly.

Touch: may have an extremely difficult time wearing shirts with tags, or socks with seams because it hurts or feels weird. Also texture of foods would fall into this category
Sound: Extreme sensitivity to noises
Taste: Dislike of foods with strong tastes
Smell: Can smell things that others cannot smell
Sight: Sensitivity to light and colors

If you suspect your son might have this disorder, you would need to seek help from an Occupational Therapist. Some studies have shown that kids who get treatment for this can get a little better, but diagnosis and therapy before a child is 5 is where it seems to be most helpful. After that point, it doesn’t seem to work as well.

Outside of this, I cannot offer a whole lot of help if your desire is to cure your son of this.  What we tell parents is most important is that you accept and love your child despite this condition.  Understand that for those of us with the disorder, no environmental factor could have helped us.  One study was done on identical twins separated at birth and both, despite being raised by separate sets of parents, turned out to be picky eaters. Others studies too, are starting to find that this condition is a genetic one.  Force feeding and other punishments seem to only make the problem worse, and serve to give the child psychological problems with food as well.

We suggest that you offer the child a wide range of foods, but allow him to eat as he chooses, making sure that there is always an acceptable food to him on the table.  Do not make any issue out of what the child does or does not eat.  If there is a food similar to a food your child already likes, you might attempt to offer him a similar food, making sure it is similar in taste and texture that he already likes. Try to become good at explaining tastes and textures to your child so you can attempt this, but again, don’t make a huge deal out of it if he will not try it and especially if he doesn’t like it after trying it.

Socially, it is important for you to stick up for your child, especially to parents who try to force feed him and make a huge deal of things. We have all felt the social stigma of this eating disorder, but somehow have managed to get through years of thinking we were the only ones.  Now, with a group that has reached nearly 2000 members, we know we aren’t the only ones. And we are certain that this is just the tip of the iceberg. The Food Network shot a segment of us this past weekend, and once that show airs, we are certain of reaching thousands more. Eventually, we want to get this disorder studied and classified so that maybe people will stop being so overly sensitive about how we eat. It will also give parents a way to tell others why their child eats a certain way and hopefully a way of not feeling so guilty for the way their child eats.

I would also like to note that almost all of the members on our site are relatively healthy…at least as healthy as our non-picky peers. We often don’t get common illnesses as often as those around us. Almost all of us are brilliant in some capacity (extremely smart or gifted). And we are in general all extremely successful at life.  We have also found members who have lived well into their 80s and 90s with no real health problems, despite an extremely limited diet.

Ultimately, I would encourage you to join our forum. We do have other parents of picky eaters on there, and an entire section devoted to parents of picky eaters.

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask me and I will do my best to answer them.

Jessica